Missionary Reflections

Dear Family and Friends,

Today has been a day without much to do, so I have had a lot of time to think about this missionary experience we are having. The statement that, “You’re mission is what you make of it!” is exactly right. Senior Couples really create their own schedules and we have very few rules. I think the thing that has been asked of us more than anything else is to set a good example for these young missionaries. So the best way for us to do that is to follow their rules. It’s hard to expect people to do things when we are not willing to do them ourselves. I think about raising our children – how can we expect them to make their beds if we don’t make ours? How can we expect them to clean up after themselves, if we leave our messes all over the house? How can we expect them to read their scriptures if they never see us read ours? How can we expect them to love and serve others if we don’t do that ourselves? How else do we teach except by example? When these missionaries stop by our apartment at 10:00 in the morning, we need to be dressed with our bed made and our dishes done, our apartment clean and at least look like we are busy doing something productive, because that is what we expect from them. It’s very easy to sleep in until 10:00 because there is nothing on the agenda for the day, and stay in our pajamas because we don’t want to put on our “church clothes” to just sit around the house, and play games on our computer because we’re bored, but that’s not what we want them to see. And that’s not why we came here. We could be doing that at home, not freezing to death, not missing our families and friends, and not struggling with transportation and language. We chose to be here, and we choose each day how our day will be. Yes it is hard! Yes we get homesick! Yes we have had to sacrifice! YES we are spoiled! But to tell you the truth, this really is exactly where we want to be right now.

We have been challenged by our Mission President to read in the New Testament the first four Gospels before March. The New Testament is all about Christ’s three year ministry on the earth. The reason we are here as missionaries is first and foremost to bring people to Christ. How can we do that if we don’t know Him? How can we know Him if we don’t read about Him in the scriptures? How will we recognize Him when He comes again if we don’t know Him? How can we return to live with Him if we haven’t accepted His gospel into our lives? How can we live mundane lives and say we have accepted His gospel in our lives? How can we hope to be saved if we’re not committed to keeping all of the commandments? These are simple questions, yet in my 55 years I lose focus at times and swing back and forth on the pendulum. I know I’m not perfect and am amazed that Christ was willing to atone for some of my horrible mistakes, but I would like to try to be a better person each day and somehow make up for some of those mistakes. Being here with so much time to think has helped me to put some of those things into perspective. Don’t worry though, I’m still the same old me. I promise I won’t come home weird! Just, hopefully, a little better.

I’ve also been thinking about how this has affected the relationship between Norm and me. Being together 24/7 has it’s advantages and disadvantages. It’s too quiet here and Norm chews too loud. I need the window wide open to combat my hot flashes. He wants to discipline the missionaries. I want to mother them. He wants to do all the talking. I do all the interrupting. He constantly asks me how to spell words. I ignore the “dumb” questions. He’s always in the bathroom when I need to use it. I always have the ipad when he wants to use it. His coat is on my coat hook. My shoes are in the middle of the floor. He can’t remember which bus to take. I don’t know how to count the money. So many little things that we never noticed before. But how we’ve grown closer together is what is so wonderful. I cook, he cleans. I wash the clothes, he hangs them to dry. I hog the ipad, he lets me. We pray more often and more sincerely together. We discuss the scriptures and Gospel topics more together. We’re learning how to use the computer together (sort of). Our love of service has grown immensely. We go on a walk together everyday (not that we have a choice about that one). We teach together, instead of on our own. We’re learning to have more patience with each other. We only buy what we need at the store. We’re learning to be frugal. We’ve learned we don’t have to have all that “stuff” to be happy. We LOVE missionary work. We love visiting project sites and meeting new people. We both grieve for the poverty and hardship of life here. We are united in our feelings and hopes and prayers for the people of Russia. We are learning to NOT JUDGE! We love our missionaries. We don’t care about the Jazz! We still cheer for BYU. We’ve stopped counting the days. We look forward to going places and getting out. We love it when our kids call us on the phone. We LOVE our KIDS! The cold isn’t THAT cold. We have fun, we laugh, we tease, and we play. This is a continual process and we’re learning more each day. We’re happy that we’re progressing instead of digressing. We’re on our way to being successful missionaries and loving each other through the process. We’re happy!

Well, this is kind of a weird letter, but it has all been on my mind lately. Hope it wasn’t to hard for you to get through. This week is transfer week and we are losing three of our missionaries. Maybe that’s why I’m so thoughtful. I’m going to miss them but I know I’ll learn to love the new ones quickly. I think of Eddie every time there is a transfer and wonder how quickly he adjusts to new places with new companions. He always sounds so positive in his letters and I think he has matured quite a bit in the last 9 months. I love being here and being able to imagine him in all the same kinds of situations that we are in here. It makes his mission come alive for me. If you haven’t seen his pictures lately, get on facebook and look at his profile pictures. It looks like he’s lost 100 pounds. He’s so skinny and looks so good and so happy. I love it!

Well family, I love you all! And friends – you are the best! We can feel your love all the way over here. Keep us informed on your doings, we love hearing from you. Have a great week and Happy Valentines Day to everyone!

Love,